"Let go and let God"... such a common phrase... Why is it so hard sometimes though? There is a particular struggle in my life right now. It grieves my heart so deeply and I want to 'fix' it so badly. I should be able to. I think. But should I? Can I? No to both.
I keep trying. I keep 'doing all the right things'. And the struggle is still there. The hurt and pain... still there.
So, again, I realize the problem is that I keep giving it to Him and then taking it back. It's not a conscious thing. I think this is something I should be able to fix.
A few days ago, the struggle reared it's ugly, sinful head again and the Lord deeply convicted my heart... He told me I need to leave it with Him. This is not mine to fix. It is His. There are complexities to the situation that I do not know... that I do not need to know. He has this. He cares way more than I ever could.
And as I wept and truly gave it to Him and purposed in my heart to leave it there He flooded me with His peace... truly a peace that passes all understanding... a peace I can not really explain. But it's true and deep. That is His... the peace and the ability to heal... His. Mine is to Leave it there. To recognize when self tries to fix things again. Mine is to realize my fallibility... to continually leave it with Him. To keep my heart open and my hands open. He is faithful.