Letting Go...

"Let go and let God"... such a common phrase... Why is it so hard sometimes though?  There is a particular struggle in my life right now.  It grieves my heart so deeply and I want to 'fix' it so badly.  I should be able to.  I think.  But should I?  Can I?  No to both.

I keep trying.  I keep 'doing all the right things'.  And the struggle is still there.  The hurt and pain... still there.

So, again, I realize the problem is that I keep giving it to Him and then taking it back.  It's not a conscious thing.  I think this is something I should be able to fix.

A few days ago, the struggle reared it's ugly, sinful head again and the Lord deeply convicted my  heart... He told me I need to leave it with Him.  This is not mine to fix.  It is His.  There are complexities to the situation that I do not know... that I do not need to know.  He has this.  He cares way more than I ever could.

And as I wept and truly gave it to Him and purposed in my heart to leave it there He flooded me with His peace... truly a peace that passes all understanding... a peace I can not really explain.  But it's true and deep. That is His... the peace and the ability to heal... His.  Mine is to Leave it there.  To recognize when self tries to fix things again.  Mine is to realize my fallibility... to continually leave it with Him. To keep my heart open and my hands open. He is faithful.

Relationships Are Like Math

A friend posted this on Facebook today:

Relationships are like math problems. Some people add to and multiply each others happiness and success. Others divide or subtract from it.

I hit the 'like' button and replied 'So true.'

Then I wrote "I think also true is this... in all relationships someone is the giver and someone is the taker. In a true relationship that position flips back and forth.  Sometimes we are the givers, sometimes the takers.  It creates a beautiful balance, I think."

I immediately deleted that comment as I didn't want anyone to think it was pointed toward the original poster (as it was just a general thought and not directed toward any specific person). Our relationship is complicated and beautiful and it is one that has taught me much about friendship. But her post did immediately bring other friendships from times past to mind, hence my additional thoughts...

Sometimes we are the givers, sometimes the takers.And when that position flips back and forth, it creates a beautiful balance.  But sometimes God gives us relationships that are not ever going to balance.  Sometimes He calls us to just be the giver and He will give us the balance.  

There are all kinds of 'friendships' out there.  They don't all look the same and I think we miss out on a lot of blessings when we expect them to. 

Don't be afraid to give, expecting nothing in return.  God will meet you there.